Verse
G#m E F#
Dear Slim, I wrote you, but you still ain't callin
B F# G#m
I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom
E F#
I sent two letters back in Autumn, you must not have got 'em
B F#
There probably was a problem with the post office or somethin'
G#m E F#
Sometimes I scribble addresses too sloppy when I jot 'em
B F# G#m
But anyway, what's been up man, how's your daughter?
E
My girlfriend's pregnant too, I'm bout to be a father
F# E
If I have a daughter, guess what I'm a call her
G#m
I'm a name her Bonnie
E
I read about your Uncle Ronnie too, I'm sorry
F# B F# G#m
E F#
I know you probably hear this every day, but I'm your biggest fan
B F# G#m
E F#
I got a room full of your posters and your pictures man
B F# G#m
E
Anyways, I hope you get this man, hit me back
F# E
Just to chat, truly yours, your biggest fan, this is Stan
[Chorus]
G#m E F#
My tea's gone cold, I'm wonderin' why
B F# G#m
Got out of bed at all
E F#
The morning rain clouds up my window
B F# G#m
And I can't see at all
E F#
And even if I could it'll all be gray
B F# G#m
But your picture on my wall
E F#
It reminds me that it's not so bad
B F# G#m
It's not so bad
[Verse 2]
G#m E
Dear Slim, you still ain't called or wrote, I hope you have a chance,
F# B G#m
E
If you didn't wanna talk to me outside your concert
F# B F#
You didn't have to, but you could've signed an autograph for Matthew
G#m E
That's my little brother man, he's only six years old
F#
We waited in the blistering cold for you
B F# G#m
For four hours and you just said no
E
F# E G#m
He wants to be just like you man, he likes you more than I do
E
I ain't that mad though, I just don't like being lied to
F# B F#
Remember when we met in Denver, you said if I write you
G#m E
You would write back, see I'm just like you in a way
F#
I never knew my father neither
B F# G#m
He used to always cheat on my mom and beat her
E
I can relate to what you're saying in your songs
F# B F#
G#m E
F# E
I even got a tattoo of your name across the chest
G#m E
Sometimes I even cut myself to see how much it bleeds
F# B F#
Its like adrenaline, the pain is such a sudden rush for me
G#m E
See everthing you say is real, and I respect you cause you tell it
F# B F#
My girlfriend's jealous, because I talk about you 24/7
G#m E
But she don't know you like I know you slim, no one does
F# B F#
She don't know what it was like for people like us growin' up
G#m E
You gotta call me man, I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose
F#
Sincerely yours, Stan, p.s.
E
We should be together too
[Chorus]
G#m E F#
My tea's gone cold, I'm wonderin' why
B F# G#m
Got out of bed at all
E F#
The morning rain clouds up my window
B F# G#m
And I can't see at all
E F#
And even if I could it'll all be gray
B F# G#m
But your picture on my wall
E F#
It reminds me that it's not so bad
E
It's not so bad
[Verse 3]
G#m E F#
Dear Mr I'm-Too-Good-To-Call-Or-Write-My-Fans
B F#
This'll be the last package I ever send your a**
G#m
It's been six months and still no words
E
I don't deserve it
F#
I know you got my last two letters
B F#
I wrote the addresses on them perfect
G#m E
So this is my cassette I'm sending you, I hope you hear it
F# B F#
I'm in the car right now, I'm doin' 90 on the freeway
G#m E F#
Hey Slim, I drank a fifth of vodka, dare me to drive?
E
You know that song by Phil Collins, In the Air of the Night
G#m E
About that guy who could've saved that other guy from drowning
F# B F#
But didn't, but Phil saw it all, then at a show he found him
G#m E
That's kinda how this is, you could've rescued me from drowning
F# B F#
Now it's too late, I'm on a 1,000 downers now, I'm drowsy
G#m E
And all I wanted was a lousy letter or a call
F# B F#
I hope you know I ripped all of your pictures off my wall
G#m E F#
I love you Slim, we could've been together, think about it
E G#m
You ruined it now, I hope you can't sleep and you dream about it
E
And when you dream, I hope you can't sleep and you scream about it
F# B F# G#m
I hope your conscience eats at you and you can't breathe without me
E
F# B F#
Hey Slim, that's my girlfriend screamin' in the trunk
G#m E
But I didn't slit her throat, I just tied her up, see I ain't like you
F# B F# G#m
Cause if she suffocates, she'll suffer more, then she'll die too
E F#
Well, gotta go, I'm almost under the bridge now
E
[Instrumental] x2
G#m E F# E
[Chorus]
G#m E F#
My tea's gone cold, I'm wonderin' why
B F# G#m
Got out of bed at all
E F#
The morning rain clouds up my window
B F# G#m
And I can't see at all
E F#
And even if I could it'll all be gray
B F# G#m
But your picture on my wall
E F#
It reminds me that it's not so bad
E
It's not so bad
[Verse 4]
G#m E
Dear Stan, I meant to write you sooner, but I've just been busy
F# B F#
You say your girlfriend's pregnant now, how far along is she?
G#m E
Look, I'm really flattered you would call your daughter that
F#
And here's an autograph for your brother
B F# G#m
I wrote it on this Starter cap
E
I'm sorry I didn't see you at the show, I must've missed you
F# B F# G#m
E F#
F#
G#m
E
You got some issues, Stan, I think you need some counseling
F# B F# G#m
To keep your a** from bouncin' off the walls when you get down some
E
F# B F# G#m
E
I really think you and your girlfriend need each other
F# B
Or maybe you just need to treat her better
F# G#m E
I hope you get to read this letter, I hope it reaches you in time
F# E
Before you hurt yourself, I think that you'll be doin just fine
G#m E
If you relax a little, I'm glad that I inspire you, but Stan
F# B F# G#m
Why are you so mad? Try to understand, that I do want you as a fan
E
F# B F# G#m
E
Some dude was drunk and drove his car over a bridge
F# B F#
And had his girlfriend in his trunk and she was pregnant with his kid
G#m E
And in the car they found a tape, didn't say who it was to
F# E G#m
Come to think about it, his name was, it was you...
[Ending]
G#m
Damn
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