Verse
F#m D E
Dear Slim, I wrote you, but you still ain't callin
A E F#m
I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom
D E
I sent two letters back in Autumn, you must not have got 'em
A E
There probably was a problem with the post office or somethin'
F#m D E
Sometimes I scribble addresses too sloppy when I jot 'em
A E F#m
But anyway, what's been up man, how's your daughter?
D
My girlfriend's pregnant too, I'm bout to be a father
E D
If I have a daughter, guess what I'm a call her
F#m
I'm a name her Bonnie
D
I read about your Uncle Ronnie too, I'm sorry
E A E F#m
D E
I know you probably hear this every day, but I'm your biggest fan
A E F#m
D E
I got a room full of your posters and your pictures man
A E F#m
D
Anyways, I hope you get this man, hit me back
E D
Just to chat, truly yours, your biggest fan, this is Stan
[Chorus]
F#m D E
My tea's gone cold, I'm wonderin' why
A E F#m
Got out of bed at all
D E
The morning rain clouds up my window
A E F#m
And I can't see at all
D E
And even if I could it'll all be gray
A E F#m
But your picture on my wall
D E
It reminds me that it's not so bad
A E F#m
It's not so bad
[Verse 2]
F#m D
Dear Slim, you still ain't called or wrote, I hope you have a chance,
E A F#m
D
If you didn't wanna talk to me outside your concert
E A E
You didn't have to, but you could've signed an autograph for Matthew
F#m D
That's my little brother man, he's only six years old
E
We waited in the blistering cold for you
A E F#m
For four hours and you just said no
D
E D F#m
He wants to be just like you man, he likes you more than I do
D
I ain't that mad though, I just don't like being lied to
E A E
Remember when we met in Denver, you said if I write you
F#m D
You would write back, see I'm just like you in a way
E
I never knew my father neither
A E F#m
He used to always cheat on my mom and beat her
D
I can relate to what you're saying in your songs
E A E
F#m D
E D
I even got a tattoo of your name across the chest
F#m D
Sometimes I even cut myself to see how much it bleeds
E A E
Its like adrenaline, the pain is such a sudden rush for me
F#m D
See everthing you say is real, and I respect you cause you tell it
E A E
My girlfriend's jealous, because I talk about you 24/7
F#m D
But she don't know you like I know you slim, no one does
E A E
She don't know what it was like for people like us growin' up
F#m D
You gotta call me man, I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose
E
Sincerely yours, Stan, p.s.
D
We should be together too
[Chorus]
F#m D E
My tea's gone cold, I'm wonderin' why
A E F#m
Got out of bed at all
D E
The morning rain clouds up my window
A E F#m
And I can't see at all
D E
And even if I could it'll all be gray
A E F#m
But your picture on my wall
D E
It reminds me that it's not so bad
D
It's not so bad
[Verse 3]
F#m D E
Dear Mr I'm-Too-Good-To-Call-Or-Write-My-Fans
A E
This'll be the last package I ever send your a**
F#m
It's been six months and still no words
D
I don't deserve it
E
I know you got my last two letters
A E
I wrote the addresses on them perfect
F#m D
So this is my cassette I'm sending you, I hope you hear it
E A E
I'm in the car right now, I'm doin' 90 on the freeway
F#m D E
Hey Slim, I drank a fifth of vodka, dare me to drive?
D
You know that song by Phil Collins, In the Air of the Night
F#m D
About that guy who could've saved that other guy from drowning
E A E
But didn't, but Phil saw it all, then at a show he found him
F#m D
That's kinda how this is, you could've rescued me from drowning
E A E
Now it's too late, I'm on a 1,000 downers now, I'm drowsy
F#m D
And all I wanted was a lousy letter or a call
E A E
I hope you know I ripped all of your pictures off my wall
F#m D E
I love you Slim, we could've been together, think about it
D F#m
You ruined it now, I hope you can't sleep and you dream about it
D
And when you dream, I hope you can't sleep and you scream about it
E A E F#m
I hope your conscience eats at you and you can't breathe without me
D
E A E
Hey Slim, that's my girlfriend screamin' in the trunk
F#m D
But I didn't slit her throat, I just tied her up, see I ain't like you
E A E F#m
Cause if she suffocates, she'll suffer more, then she'll die too
D E
Well, gotta go, I'm almost under the bridge now
D
[Instrumental] x2
F#m D E D
[Chorus]
F#m D E
My tea's gone cold, I'm wonderin' why
A E F#m
Got out of bed at all
D E
The morning rain clouds up my window
A E F#m
And I can't see at all
D E
And even if I could it'll all be gray
A E F#m
But your picture on my wall
D E
It reminds me that it's not so bad
D
It's not so bad
[Verse 4]
F#m D
Dear Stan, I meant to write you sooner, but I've just been busy
E A E
You say your girlfriend's pregnant now, how far along is she?
F#m D
Look, I'm really flattered you would call your daughter that
E
And here's an autograph for your brother
A E F#m
I wrote it on this Starter cap
D
I'm sorry I didn't see you at the show, I must've missed you
E A E F#m
D E
E
F#m
D
You got some issues, Stan, I think you need some counseling
E A E F#m
To keep your a** from bouncin' off the walls when you get down some
D
E A E F#m
D
I really think you and your girlfriend need each other
E A
Or maybe you just need to treat her better
E F#m D
I hope you get to read this letter, I hope it reaches you in time
E D
Before you hurt yourself, I think that you'll be doin just fine
F#m D
If you relax a little, I'm glad that I inspire you, but Stan
E A E F#m
Why are you so mad? Try to understand, that I do want you as a fan
D
E A E F#m
D
Some dude was drunk and drove his car over a bridge
E A E
And had his girlfriend in his trunk and she was pregnant with his kid
F#m D
And in the car they found a tape, didn't say who it was to
E D F#m
Come to think about it, his name was, it was you...
[Ending]
F#m
Damn
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