Verse
Am F G
Dear Slim, I wrote you, but you still ain't callin
C G Am
I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom
F G
I sent two letters back in Autumn, you must not have got 'em
C G
There probably was a problem with the post office or somethin'
Am F G
Sometimes I scribble addresses too sloppy when I jot 'em
C G Am
But anyway, what's been up man, how's your daughter?
F
My girlfriend's pregnant too, I'm bout to be a father
G F
If I have a daughter, guess what I'm a call her
Am
I'm a name her Bonnie
F
I read about your Uncle Ronnie too, I'm sorry
G C G Am
F G
I know you probably hear this every day, but I'm your biggest fan
C G Am
F G
I got a room full of your posters and your pictures man
C G Am
F
Anyways, I hope you get this man, hit me back
G F
Just to chat, truly yours, your biggest fan, this is Stan
[Chorus]
Am F G
My tea's gone cold, I'm wonderin' why
C G Am
Got out of bed at all
F G
The morning rain clouds up my window
C G Am
And I can't see at all
F G
And even if I could it'll all be gray
C G Am
But your picture on my wall
F G
It reminds me that it's not so bad
C G Am
It's not so bad
[Verse 2]
Am F
Dear Slim, you still ain't called or wrote, I hope you have a chance,
G C Am
F
If you didn't wanna talk to me outside your concert
G C G
You didn't have to, but you could've signed an autograph for Matthew
Am F
That's my little brother man, he's only six years old
G
We waited in the blistering cold for you
C G Am
For four hours and you just said no
F
G F Am
He wants to be just like you man, he likes you more than I do
F
I ain't that mad though, I just don't like being lied to
G C G
Remember when we met in Denver, you said if I write you
Am F
You would write back, see I'm just like you in a way
G
I never knew my father neither
C G Am
He used to always cheat on my mom and beat her
F
I can relate to what you're saying in your songs
G C G
Am F
G F
I even got a tattoo of your name across the chest
Am F
Sometimes I even cut myself to see how much it bleeds
G C G
Its like adrenaline, the pain is such a sudden rush for me
Am F
See everthing you say is real, and I respect you cause you tell it
G C G
My girlfriend's jealous, because I talk about you 24/7
Am F
But she don't know you like I know you slim, no one does
G C G
She don't know what it was like for people like us growin' up
Am F
You gotta call me man, I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose
G
Sincerely yours, Stan, p.s.
F
We should be together too
[Chorus]
Am F G
My tea's gone cold, I'm wonderin' why
C G Am
Got out of bed at all
F G
The morning rain clouds up my window
C G Am
And I can't see at all
F G
And even if I could it'll all be gray
C G Am
But your picture on my wall
F G
It reminds me that it's not so bad
F
It's not so bad
[Verse 3]
Am F G
Dear Mr I'm-Too-Good-To-Call-Or-Write-My-Fans
C G
This'll be the last package I ever send your a**
Am
It's been six months and still no words
F
I don't deserve it
G
I know you got my last two letters
C G
I wrote the addresses on them perfect
Am F
So this is my cassette I'm sending you, I hope you hear it
G C G
I'm in the car right now, I'm doin' 90 on the freeway
Am F G
Hey Slim, I drank a fifth of vodka, dare me to drive?
F
You know that song by Phil Collins, In the Air of the Night
Am F
About that guy who could've saved that other guy from drowning
G C G
But didn't, but Phil saw it all, then at a show he found him
Am F
That's kinda how this is, you could've rescued me from drowning
G C G
Now it's too late, I'm on a 1,000 downers now, I'm drowsy
Am F
And all I wanted was a lousy letter or a call
G C G
I hope you know I ripped all of your pictures off my wall
Am F G
I love you Slim, we could've been together, think about it
F Am
You ruined it now, I hope you can't sleep and you dream about it
F
And when you dream, I hope you can't sleep and you scream about it
G C G Am
I hope your conscience eats at you and you can't breathe without me
F
G C G
Hey Slim, that's my girlfriend screamin' in the trunk
Am F
But I didn't slit her throat, I just tied her up, see I ain't like you
G C G Am
Cause if she suffocates, she'll suffer more, then she'll die too
F G
Well, gotta go, I'm almost under the bridge now
F
[Instrumental] x2
Am F G F
[Chorus]
Am F G
My tea's gone cold, I'm wonderin' why
C G Am
Got out of bed at all
F G
The morning rain clouds up my window
C G Am
And I can't see at all
F G
And even if I could it'll all be gray
C G Am
But your picture on my wall
F G
It reminds me that it's not so bad
F
It's not so bad
[Verse 4]
Am F
Dear Stan, I meant to write you sooner, but I've just been busy
G C G
You say your girlfriend's pregnant now, how far along is she?
Am F
Look, I'm really flattered you would call your daughter that
G
And here's an autograph for your brother
C G Am
I wrote it on this Starter cap
F
I'm sorry I didn't see you at the show, I must've missed you
G C G Am
F G
G
Am
F
You got some issues, Stan, I think you need some counseling
G C G Am
To keep your a** from bouncin' off the walls when you get down some
F
G C G Am
F
I really think you and your girlfriend need each other
G C
Or maybe you just need to treat her better
G Am F
I hope you get to read this letter, I hope it reaches you in time
G F
Before you hurt yourself, I think that you'll be doin just fine
Am F
If you relax a little, I'm glad that I inspire you, but Stan
G C G Am
Why are you so mad? Try to understand, that I do want you as a fan
F
G C G Am
F
Some dude was drunk and drove his car over a bridge
G C G
And had his girlfriend in his trunk and she was pregnant with his kid
Am F
And in the car they found a tape, didn't say who it was to
G F Am
Come to think about it, his name was, it was you...
[Ending]
Am
Damn
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