Bm
Step right up
G
We bring to you the finest entertainment
F#7
And I am pleased to be your humble servant
Bm F#7
Accept our hospitality, indulge in abnormality
Bm
Step right up
G
We've something here for everyone's enjoyment
F#7
I do this as a gift, not for employment
Bm F#7
F# portrait of insanity, approached with pure humanity
B F#
Come see our girls, crazy girls
B/D# B7 F#
If you're willing to be thrilled, this is a hell of a ride
C#m G#5
Those girls, crazy girls
B F#7 B7
They're hot, they're nuts, they're suicidal
B F#
Tickets cheap, it's a crime
B/D# B7 F#
And they're half price after 4 o' clock, so toss us a dime
C#m F#7 B
To see these lovely freaks of nature for a limited time
C#m F#7 B
Come see the girls, girls, girls
B C#7
Some of them are really quite attractive as you see
F#7 B
Some are truly hideous, I'm sure that you'll agree
C#m F#7 B
While others still look rather quite a lot like you and me
C# F#7
But you mustn't let them fool you, just one more rule
B C#7
You shouldn't look this one too long in the eye
F#7 B
And that one, let's just keep walking by
C#m F#7 B
These ain't no ordinary girls, and we've a steady supply
C#m F#7 B
Grab another cup of tea, and follow me
B F#
To see our girls, crazy girls
B/D# B7 F#
If you're willing to be thrilled, this is a hell of a ride
C#m G#5
Those girls, crazy girls
B F#7 B7
They're hot, they're nuts, they're suicidal
B F#
Tickets cheap, it's a crime
B/D# B7 F#
And they're half price after 4 o' clock, so toss us a dime
C#m F#7 B
To see these lovely freaks of nature for a limited time
C#m F#7 B
Come see the girls, girls, girls
B C#7
Now, has anybody any clever questions for your guide
C# F#7 B7
For a penny more, go on and ask, we have nothing here to hide.
Quiet down! You, sir?
B C#7
If insanity's primarily a femininish malady,
F#7 B
And no one's doubting that for it's a scientific fact,
C#m F#7 B
Then according to the medics, are they faultier genetics?
C# F#7
Are they born with this disease, or is it something they contract?
B C#7
It’s all to do with reproductive organs
F#7 B
Which are naturally unstable in a dame
C#m F#7 B
You see, from lunar we have lunacy and lunatic and loony
C# F#7
And they're always ovulating by the cycle of the moony
B
I have a question (shoot!)
C#7
Has any patient ever been released
F#7 B
Would you send her home if her bizarre behavior would decrease?
C#m F#7 B
For the good of our society, they oughtn't reproduce
C# F#7
So while they may pretend propriety, we'll never let them loose
B F#
Come see the girls, crazy girls
B/D# B7 F#
If you're willing to be thrilled, this is a hell of a ride
C#m G#5
Those girls, crazy girls
B F#7 B7
They're hot, they're nuts, they're suicidal
B F#
Tickets cheap, it's a crime
B/D# B7 F#
And they're half price after 4 o' clock, so toss us a dime
C#m F#7 B
To see these lovely freaks of nature for a limited time
C#m F#7 B
Come see the girls, girls, girls
Some are born mad
Some achieve madness
Some have madness thrust upon them
This is the real thing my friends, 100 percent, authentic, mentally-ill
Except no imitations
For a little extra on the side, you can arrange
For a slightly more intimate encounter, wink wink
For a tuppence, just a tuppence, a handful of pills to feed the inmates
We've got pills for depression, obsession, agression, possession, indiscretion,
But there's a bloody pill for everything nowadays
F#
How big is a lady's brain?
C#m C#7 B7
It's really very, very small, a simple thought is quite a strain
C#m
This seems just a bit inhumane
C# C#7 B7
It's just a simple little shock, it doesn't cause her any pain
B C#7
They're really more like animals than people
F#7 B
Which, as we've proven, haven't any souls at all.
C#m F#7 B
The only bits that aren't inferior are bosom and posterior
C# F#7
And these are only useful in a seedy music hall
B C#7
They don't bite, well they might
F#7 B
I say this one does look hungry tonight
C#m F#7
So get your picture with an inmate
B
But be sure she's locked up tight
C#
They're practically wild sir
F#7
Protect your child sir
B C#7
They don't recall the taste of freedom
F#7 B
They're just happy if we feed them
C#m F#7
So point and laugh, it isn't bad
B
They oughtn't mind because they're mad!
C# F#7
If you haven't got a dime, toss us your pearls
You're welcome to enjoy
B F#
Our girls, crazy girls
B/D# B7 F#
If you're willing to be thrilled, this is a hell of a ride
C#m G#5
Those girls, crazy girls
B F#7 B7
They're hot, they're nuts, they're suicidal
B F#
Tickets cheap, it's a crime
B/D# B7 F#
And they're half price after 4 o' clock, so toss us a dime
C#m F#7 B
To see these lovely freaks of nature for a limited time
C#m F#7 B
Come see the girls, girls, girls
C#m F#7 B
I've got a lot more words to say, but I just can't make them rhyme
C#m F#7 B
So ladies, let this be a lesson to you, keep your hair uncut
C#m F#7
Your corsets tight, your morals high
B
Your knitting neat, your yappers shut
C#m F#7
This is what comes of over-educating,
B C#m
mentally over-stimulating,
F#7
too much serious conversating,
B C#m
organized religion-hating,
F#7
sinful over-copulating,
B C#m
marriage without procreating,
F#7
girl-on-girl caught lesbiating,
B C#m
she was caught while masturbating,
F#7
they all mind manipulating,
B C#m
chronically hallucinating,
F#7
certainly there's no debating,
B C#m
some we just find fascinating,
F#7
women's rights facilitating,
B C#m
independent thought creating,
F#7
she just may be complicating,
B B7
get your money out, we're waiting
To see those
C#m
Girls!
F#7
Girls!
B
Girls!
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