C#m
Step right up
A
We bring to you the finest entertainment
G#7
And I am pleased to be your humble servant
C#m G#7
Accept our hospitality, indulge in abnormality
C#m
Step right up
A
We've something here for everyone's enjoyment
G#7
I do this as a gift, not for employment
C#m G#7
G# portrait of insanity, approached with pure humanity
C# G#
Come see our girls, crazy girls
C#/F C#7 G#
If you're willing to be thrilled, this is a hell of a ride
D#m A#5
Those girls, crazy girls
C# G#7 C#7
They're hot, they're nuts, they're suicidal
C# G#
Tickets cheap, it's a crime
C#/F C#7 G#
And they're half price after 4 o' clock, so toss us a dime
D#m G#7 C#
To see these lovely freaks of nature for a limited time
D#m G#7 C#
Come see the girls, girls, girls
C# D#7
Some of them are really quite attractive as you see
G#7 C#
Some are truly hideous, I'm sure that you'll agree
D#m G#7 C#
While others still look rather quite a lot like you and me
D# G#7
But you mustn't let them fool you, just one more rule
C# D#7
You shouldn't look this one too long in the eye
G#7 C#
And that one, let's just keep walking by
D#m G#7 C#
These ain't no ordinary girls, and we've a steady supply
D#m G#7 C#
Grab another cup of tea, and follow me
C# G#
To see our girls, crazy girls
C#/F C#7 G#
If you're willing to be thrilled, this is a hell of a ride
D#m A#5
Those girls, crazy girls
C# G#7 C#7
They're hot, they're nuts, they're suicidal
C# G#
Tickets cheap, it's a crime
C#/F C#7 G#
And they're half price after 4 o' clock, so toss us a dime
D#m G#7 C#
To see these lovely freaks of nature for a limited time
D#m G#7 C#
Come see the girls, girls, girls
C# D#7
Now, has anybody any clever questions for your guide
D# G#7 C#7
For a penny more, go on and ask, we have nothing here to hide.
Quiet down! You, sir?
C# D#7
If insanity's primarily a femininish malady,
G#7 C#
And no one's doubting that for it's a scientific fact,
D#m G#7 C#
Then according to the medics, are they faultier genetics?
D# G#7
Are they born with this disease, or is it something they contract?
C# D#7
It’s all to do with reproductive organs
G#7 C#
Which are naturally unstable in a dame
D#m G#7 C#
You see, from lunar we have lunacy and lunatic and loony
D# G#7
And they're always ovulating by the cycle of the moony
C#
I have a question (shoot!)
D#7
Has any patient ever been released
G#7 C#
Would you send her home if her bizarre behavior would decrease?
D#m G#7 C#
For the good of our society, they oughtn't reproduce
D# G#7
So while they may pretend propriety, we'll never let them loose
C# G#
Come see the girls, crazy girls
C#/F C#7 G#
If you're willing to be thrilled, this is a hell of a ride
D#m A#5
Those girls, crazy girls
C# G#7 C#7
They're hot, they're nuts, they're suicidal
C# G#
Tickets cheap, it's a crime
C#/F C#7 G#
And they're half price after 4 o' clock, so toss us a dime
D#m G#7 C#
To see these lovely freaks of nature for a limited time
D#m G#7 C#
Come see the girls, girls, girls
Some are born mad
Some achieve madness
Some have madness thrust upon them
This is the real thing my friends, 100 percent, authentic, mentally-ill
Except no imitations
For a little extra on the side, you can arrange
For a slightly more intimate encounter, wink wink
For a tuppence, just a tuppence, a handful of pills to feed the inmates
We've got pills for depression, obsession, agression, possession, indiscretion,
But there's a bloody pill for everything nowadays
G#
How big is a lady's brain?
D#m D#7 C#7
It's really very, very small, a simple thought is quite a strain
D#m
This seems just a bit inhumane
D# D#7 C#7
It's just a simple little shock, it doesn't cause her any pain
C# D#7
They're really more like animals than people
G#7 C#
Which, as we've proven, haven't any souls at all.
D#m G#7 C#
The only bits that aren't inferior are bosom and posterior
D# G#7
And these are only useful in a seedy music hall
C# D#7
They don't bite, well they might
G#7 C#
I say this one does look hungry tonight
D#m G#7
So get your picture with an inmate
C#
But be sure she's locked up tight
D#
They're practically wild sir
G#7
Protect your child sir
C# D#7
They don't recall the taste of freedom
G#7 C#
They're just happy if we feed them
D#m G#7
So point and laugh, it isn't bad
C#
They oughtn't mind because they're mad!
D# G#7
If you haven't got a dime, toss us your pearls
You're welcome to enjoy
C# G#
Our girls, crazy girls
C#/F C#7 G#
If you're willing to be thrilled, this is a hell of a ride
D#m A#5
Those girls, crazy girls
C# G#7 C#7
They're hot, they're nuts, they're suicidal
C# G#
Tickets cheap, it's a crime
C#/F C#7 G#
And they're half price after 4 o' clock, so toss us a dime
D#m G#7 C#
To see these lovely freaks of nature for a limited time
D#m G#7 C#
Come see the girls, girls, girls
D#m G#7 C#
I've got a lot more words to say, but I just can't make them rhyme
D#m G#7 C#
So ladies, let this be a lesson to you, keep your hair uncut
D#m G#7
Your corsets tight, your morals high
C#
Your knitting neat, your yappers shut
D#m G#7
This is what comes of over-educating,
C# D#m
mentally over-stimulating,
G#7
too much serious conversating,
C# D#m
organized religion-hating,
G#7
sinful over-copulating,
C# D#m
marriage without procreating,
G#7
girl-on-girl caught lesbiating,
C# D#m
she was caught while masturbating,
G#7
they all mind manipulating,
C# D#m
chronically hallucinating,
G#7
certainly there's no debating,
C# D#m
some we just find fascinating,
G#7
women's rights facilitating,
C# D#m
independent thought creating,
G#7
she just may be complicating,
C# C#7
get your money out, we're waiting
To see those
D#m
Girls!
G#7
Girls!
C#
Girls!
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