Verse
G#m B Bmaj9/A# G#m
I went up for my interview on the fourth day of July
G#m B Bmaj9/A# G#m
Personnel man he questioned me until I nearly cried
G#m B Bmaj9/A# G#m
He made me fill in forms until I shook with fear
Am* B Bmaj9/A# G#m
About the colour of my toilet roll and if my cousin is queer
[Chorus]
G#m B Bmaj9/A# G#m
Here's your goldwatch and the shackles for your chain
G#m B Bmaj9/A# G#m
And your piece of paper to say you left here sane
G#m B Bmaj9/A# G#m
And if you've a son who wants a good career
Am* B Bmaj9/A# G#m
Just get him to sign on the dotted line and work for fifty years
[Verse 2]
G#m B Bmaj9/A# G#m
He asked me how many jobs I'd had before
G#m B Bmaj9/A# G#m
He nearly had a heart attack when I answered, four
G#m B Bmaj9/A# G#m
Four jobs in twenty years, oh, this can never be
Am* B Bmaj9/A# G#m
We only take on men who work until they die
[Chorus]
G#m B Bmaj9/A# G#m
Here's your goldwatch and the shackles for your chain
G#m B Bmaj9/A# G#m
And your piece of paper to say you left here sane
G#m B Bmaj9/A# G#m
And if you've a son who wants a good career
Am* B Bmaj9/A# G#m
Just get him to sign on the dotted line and work for fifty years
[Verse 3]
G#m B Bmaj9/A# G#m
He took me outside to where the gravestones stand in line
G#m B Bmaj9/A# G#m
This is where we bury them in quick-stone and in lime
G#m B Bmaj9/A# G#m
And if you come to work for us on this you must agree
Am* B Bmaj9/A# G#m
That if you're going to die please do it during tea-break
[Chorus]
G#m B Bmaj9/A# G#m
Here's your goldwatch and the shackles for your chain
G#m B Bmaj9/A# G#m
And your piece of paper to say you left here sane
G#m B Bmaj9/A# G#m
And if you've a son who wants a good career
Am* B Bmaj9/A# G#m
Just get him to sign on the dotted line and work for fifty years
[Verse 4]
G#m B Bmaj9/A# G#m
This story that you heard you may think rather queer
G#m B Bmaj9/A# G#m
But it is the truth you'll be surprised to hear
G#m B Bmaj9/A# G#m
I did not want no job upon the board
Am* B Bmaj9/A# G#m
I just wanted to take a broom and sweep the bloody floor
[Chorus]
G#m B Bmaj9/A# G#m
Here's your goldwatch and the shackles for your chain
G#m B Bmaj9/A# G#m
And your piece of paper to say you left here sane
G#m B Bmaj9/A# G#m
And if you've a son who wants a good career
Am* B Bmaj9/A# G#m
Just get him to sign on the dotted line and work for fifty years
[Outro]
e|----------------------0----|
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G|--2-0-----------------2----|
D|------2p0-------------2----|
A|----------3-2p0----0--0----|
E|----------------3----------|