Intro
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[Verse 1]
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Shakespeare’s got a mail order Uzi
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Shakespeare’s got a gun; he’s gonna use it
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Shakespeare’s got a prostitute names Suzie
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Shakespeare’s got a gun; he’s gonna use it
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It seems some monkey just outside of Pittsburgh
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Finally typed out Hamlet; typed out Hamlet word for word
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Shakespeare’s pissed off; Shakespeare’s got an Uzi
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Shakespeare’s got a gun; he’s gonna use it
[Interlude]
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[Verse 2]
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Shakespeare’s got a Fender Stratocaster
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He’s got that sucker cranked; he’s gonna blast her
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Led Zeppelin was never any faster
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Shakespeare’s got a Fender Stratocaster
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He’s dressed in black; He’s got a Marshall stack
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He dances with baboons who jump up on his back
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Aww Love’s Labor’s Lost; that’s in the past
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Shakespeare’s got a Fender Stratocaster
[Interlude]
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[Bridge]
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Shakespeare’s got no use for thick black glasses
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Who sit and dissect tragedies in college English classes
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Shakespeare’s sick of words; Shakespeare’s sick of letters
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Shakespeare watches videos the dirtier the better
[Verse 3]
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Shakespeare’s got a liquor store in Anaheim
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Shakespeare combs his hair with soup spoon
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Shakespeare drinks tequila out of styrofoam
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Shakespeare’s got a liquor store in Anaheim
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He sells magazines; he eats cigarettes
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He never says a word; he sleeps in a Corvette
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Aww Shakespeare’s got a gun; Shakespeare’s got an Uzi
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Shakespeare’s got a guitar; says he’s gonna use it
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Shakespeare’s got a gun and liquor store in Anaheim
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Shakespeare’s got a gun; he’s gonna use it
[Outro]
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