[Chorus]
B E
Don't tell Andy, don't tell Aunt Bee
B F# E
They'll come a-lookin' for Opie and me
B E
Tell 'em we're dead or tell 'em we're gone
B F# B
Me and Opie down by the duck pond
[Verse 1]
B E
Well Goober brought down some homegrown hay
B F# B
It whomped me up the side the head, I never felt that way
B E
Aunt Bee said we'd be in dutch
B F# B
If the sheriff ever caught us smokin' that stuff
[Chorus]
B E
Don't tell Andy, don't tell Aunt Bee
B F# E
They'll come a-lookin' for Opie and me
B E
Tell 'em we're dead or tell 'em we're gone
B F# B
Me and Opie down by the duck pond
[Verse 2]
B E
I heard a little holler down in the woods
B F# B
Sounded like someone saying, 'Mm mm good!"
B E
I moved a little closer, sneaking like a squirrel
B F# B
Otis was slurpin' up his favorite girrrrrl
[Verse 3]
B E
Otis said, "Boys, come sit by the still
B F# B
I'll pour you up a jar of that famous swill
B E
If you can't walk, don't worry no way
B F# B
Now LIGHT THAT PIPE and pass it my way"
[Chorus]
B E
Don't tell Andy, don't tell Aunt Bee
B F# E
They'll come a-lookin' for Opie and me
B E
Tell 'em we're dead or tell 'em we're gone
B F# B
Me and Opie down by the duck pond
[Verse 4]
B E
I had to dodge a rock that was hittin' the tree
B F# B
Out of the swamp came Ernest T.
B E
Gold tooth a-flashing as he hit that pipe
B F# B
Out of the blue came Barney Fife
[Verse 5]
B E
Well Barney come down to nip that still
B F# B
Waving an axe, a lawman's thrill
B E
"Opie, don't smoke, you'll turn yourself green
B F# B
Get me up a puff and I'll show you what I mean"
[Chorus]
B E
Don't tell Andy, don't tell Aunt Bee
B F# E
They'll come a-lookin' for Opie and me
B E
Tell 'em we're dead or tell 'em we're gone
B F# B
Me and Opie down by the duck pond
[Verse 6]
B E
We all sat there for most of the night
B F# B
Trying to figure out our left from our right
B E
Here comes Andy and ol' Aunt Bee
B F# B
Scoldin' the hell out of Opie and Me
[Chorus]
B E
Don't tell Andy, don't tell Aunt Bee
B F# E
They'll come a-lookin' for Opie and me
B E
Tell 'em we're dead or tell 'em we're gone
B F# B
Me and Opie down by the duck pond