[Chorus]
D# G#
Don't tell Andy, don't tell Aunt Bee
D# A# G#
They'll come a-lookin' for Opie and me
D# G#
Tell 'em we're dead or tell 'em we're gone
D# A# D#
Me and Opie down by the duck pond
[Verse 1]
D# G#
Well Goober brought down some homegrown hay
D# A# D#
It whomped me up the side the head, I never felt that way
D# G#
Aunt Bee said we'd be in dutch
D# A# D#
If the sheriff ever caught us smokin' that stuff
[Chorus]
D# G#
Don't tell Andy, don't tell Aunt Bee
D# A# G#
They'll come a-lookin' for Opie and me
D# G#
Tell 'em we're dead or tell 'em we're gone
D# A# D#
Me and Opie down by the duck pond
[Verse 2]
D# G#
I heard a little holler down in the woods
D# A# D#
Sounded like someone saying, 'Mm mm good!"
D# G#
I moved a little closer, sneaking like a squirrel
D# A# D#
Otis was slurpin' up his favorite girrrrrl
[Verse 3]
D# G#
Otis said, "Boys, come sit by the still
D# A# D#
I'll pour you up a jar of that famous swill
D# G#
If you can't walk, don't worry no way
D# A# D#
Now LIGHT THAT PIPE and pass it my way"
[Chorus]
D# G#
Don't tell Andy, don't tell Aunt Bee
D# A# G#
They'll come a-lookin' for Opie and me
D# G#
Tell 'em we're dead or tell 'em we're gone
D# A# D#
Me and Opie down by the duck pond
[Verse 4]
D# G#
I had to dodge a rock that was hittin' the tree
D# A# D#
Out of the swamp came Ernest T.
D# G#
Gold tooth a-flashing as he hit that pipe
D# A# D#
Out of the blue came Barney Fife
[Verse 5]
D# G#
Well Barney come down to nip that still
D# A# D#
Waving an axe, a lawman's thrill
D# G#
"Opie, don't smoke, you'll turn yourself green
D# A# D#
Get me up a puff and I'll show you what I mean"
[Chorus]
D# G#
Don't tell Andy, don't tell Aunt Bee
D# A# G#
They'll come a-lookin' for Opie and me
D# G#
Tell 'em we're dead or tell 'em we're gone
D# A# D#
Me and Opie down by the duck pond
[Verse 6]
D# G#
We all sat there for most of the night
D# A# D#
Trying to figure out our left from our right
D# G#
Here comes Andy and ol' Aunt Bee
D# A# D#
Scoldin' the hell out of Opie and Me
[Chorus]
D# G#
Don't tell Andy, don't tell Aunt Bee
D# A# G#
They'll come a-lookin' for Opie and me
D# G#
Tell 'em we're dead or tell 'em we're gone
D# A# D#
Me and Opie down by the duck pond