Intro
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Well, I was writing a play about Pete Rose and Bart Giamatti
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It takes place in a Motel 6 just outside of Cincinnatti
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There's a table and a bottle of whiskey they're drinking but they light a cigarette first
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Pete Rose looks terrible, Giamatti looks worse
Giamatti says, "Pete, be straight with me have you been gambling on games?"
Pete says, "Commissioner where I come from, we bet on everything"
He says, "Let's get to the point Pete, did you ever bet on your own team?"
I'm not sure what Pete's gonna reply, but I think I'll have the telephone ring
It's gonna be Shoeless Joe Jackson calling from Tangiers
He says, "Commissioner, if you don't throw him out what have I been doing all these years?
Bagging groceries and painting houses, having to to beg and steal and rob"
Pete tries to grab the receiver, he says, "I can tell you stuff about Ty Cobb"
Then I hear a knocking, a knocking at my door
It's my sweet Martha and I open up and she crawls in on the floor
Says put down your paper and pen, boy, that can wait another day
I say, "What's wrong?" she grabs my leg, says, "All I've got to say is
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Are you gambling with my love, are you saying you don't care?
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Are you gambling with my love while you sit there in that chair?
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Are you gonna gamble? Are you gonna gamble?
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Gambling with my love"
I say girl, "I got backers. I've got money people waiting for this stuff
I've got a theatre off Broadway convinced one act ain't gonna be enough"
I say, "I'm starting to roll with this dialogue, I'm getting inside Pete Rose's head"
I say, "He can taste the Hall of Fame," she says, "Don't you want to taste me instead?"
I say, "Girl, do you understand how with four thousand hits a man could still feel emptiness?"
And I have Pete say, "Commissioner, what you got in your hand?" And he says, "Can't you guess?"
Pete says, "If I was a betting man I'd say you were trying to bluff me to my face"
Commissioner says, "Too bad you ain't as good playing the odds as playing second base"
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Ooooooooooo, gambling with my love
So she says, "What does Mrs. Rose have to say about all this?"
I say, "I don't know, I haven't thought about Mrs. Rose," and I lean over and give
a kiss
She says, "You've got two guys in a hotel room, no other characters or special effects?"
I say, "There's plenty of drama there!" She says, "Three acts, no sex..."
She says, "There is a Mrs. Rose, though, yeah?" I say, "Well, yeah, there is, I s'pose"
She says, "Well what's their chemistry? What are her specifics? Does she have a wig?
she wear support hose?"
I say, "Baby, you're wearing me out, I need a break. What do you say we turn down the bed?"
She looks at me, she rolls her eyes, and grabs my pen and says,
"Are you gambling with my love? Are you saying you don't care
Are you gambling with my love while you sit there in that chair?
Are you gonna gamble? Are you gonna gamble?
Gambling with my love"
So now it goes like this: Pete Rose and Giamatti in a hotel room
Mrs. Rose bursts in and says, "Damn it, Pete, I carried your children in my womb!"
She says, "Mr. Giamatti, you need this man as much as he needs you"
She says, "Judge not lest ye be judged," turns to Pete and says,
"Are you gonna gamble with my love? Are you saying you don't care?
Are you gambling with my love while you sit there in that chair?
Are you gonna gamble? Are you gonna gamble?
Gambling with my love
Are you gambling with my love? Are you saying you don't care
Are you gambling with my love while you sit there in that chair?
Are you gonna gamble? Are you gonna gamble?
Gambling with my love"
Ooooooooo, gambling with my love
Oooooooo, oooooooo, gambling with my love