Intro
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Oh we're meeting at the courthouse at eight o'clock tonight
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You just come in the door and take the first turn to the right
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Be careful when you get there, we'd hate to be bereft
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But we're taking down the names of everybody turning left
[Refrain]
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Oh we're the John Birch Society, the John Birch Society
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Here to save our country from a communistic plot
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Join the John Birch Society, help us fill the ranks
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To get this movement started, we need lots of tools and cranks
[Verse 2]
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Now there's no one that we're certain the Kremlin doesn't touch
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We think that Westbrook Pegler* doth protest a bit too much
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We only hail the hero from whom we got our name
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We're not sure what he did, but he's our hero all the same
[Refrain]
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Oh we're the John Birch Society, the John Birch Society
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Socialism is the ism dismalist of all
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Join the John Birch Society, there's so much to do
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Have you heard they're serving vodka at the W.C.T.U.
[Verse 3]
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Well you've heard about the agents that we've already named
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Well M.C.A. has agents that are flatly unashamed
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We're after Rosie Clooney, we've gotten Pinky Lee
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And the day we get Red Skelton won't that be a victory
[Refrain]
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Oh we're the John Birch Society, the John Birch Society
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Norman Vincent Peale** may think he's kidding us along
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But the John Birch Society knows he spilled the beans
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He keeps on preaching brotherhood, but we know what he means
[Verse 4]
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We'll teach you how to spot 'em in the cities or the sticks
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For even Jasper Junction is just full of Bolsheviks
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The CIA's subversive and so's the C#CC
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There's no one left but thee and we, and we're not sure of thee
[Refrain]
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Oh we're the John Birch Society, the John Birch Society
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Here to save our country from a Communistic plot
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Join the John Birch Society, holding off the Reds
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We'll use our hands and hearts, and if we must, we'll use our heads
[Verse 5]
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Do you want Justice Warren to be your Commissar?
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Do you want Mrs. Khrushchev in there with the DAR?
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You cannot trust your neighbors, or even next-of-kin
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If mommy is a Commie then you gotta turn her in
[Refrain]
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Oh we're the John Birch Society, the John Birch Society
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Fighting for the right to fight the right fight for the right
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Join the John Birch Society, as we're marching on
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We'll all be glad to see you when we're meeting in the John
[Notes]
**Norman Vincent Peale was an American minister and author known for his work in
popularizing the concept of positive thinking, especially through his best-selling
book The Power of Positive Thinking
anti-communism and limited government. It has been described as a radical right and
far-right organization.
*Francis James Westbrook Pegler was an American journalist and writer. He was a popular
columnist in the 1930s and 1940s famed for his opposition to the New Deal and labor unions.
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