Intro
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[Verse 1]
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I was riding on the Mayflower
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When I thought I spied some land
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I yelled for Captain Arab
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I have yuh understand
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Who came running to the deck
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Said, “Boys, forget the whale
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Look on over yonder
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Cut the engines, change the sail
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Haul on the bowline”
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We sang that melody
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Like all tough sailors do
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When they are far away at sea
[Verse 2]
D#
“I think I’ll call it America”
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I said as we hit land
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I took a deep breath
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I fell down, I could not stand
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Captain Arab he started
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Writing up some deeds
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He said, “Let’s set up a fort
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And start buying the place with beads”
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Just then this cop comes down the street
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Crazy as a loon
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He throws us all in jail
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For carryin’ harpoons
[Verse 3]
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Ah me I busted out
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Don’t even ask me how
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I went to get some help
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I walked by a Guernsey cow
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Who directed me down
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To the Bowery slums
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Where people carried signs around
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Saying, “Ban the bums”
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I jumped right into line
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Sayin’, “I hope that I’m not late”
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When I realized I hadn’t eaten
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For five days straight
[Verse 4]
D#
I went into a restaurant
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Lookin’ for the cook
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I told them I was the editor
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Of a famous etiquette book
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The waitress he was handsome
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He wore a powder blue cape
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I ordered some suzette, I said
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“Could you please make that crepe”
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Just then the whole kitchen exploded
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From boilin’ fat
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Food was flying everywhere
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And I left without my hat
[Verse 5]
D#
Now, I didn’t mean to be nosy
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But I went into a bank
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To get some bail for Arab
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And all the boys back in the tank
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They asked me for some collateral
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And I pulled down my pants
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They threw me in the alley
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When up comes this girl from France
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Who invited me to her house
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I went, but she had a friend
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Who knocked me out and robbed my boots
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And I was on the street again
[Verse 6]
D#
Well, I rapped upon a house
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With the U.S. flag upon display
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I said, “Could you help me out
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I got some friends down the way”
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The man says, “Get out of here
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I’ll tear you limb from limb”
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I said, “You know they refused Jesus, too”
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He said, “You’re not Him
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Get out of here before I break your bones
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I ain’t your pop”
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I decided to have him arrested
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And I went looking for a cop
[Interlude]
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(harmonica)
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(harmonica)
[Verse 7]
D#
I ran right outside
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And I hopped inside a cab
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I went out the other door
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This Englishman said, “Fab”
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As he saw me leap a hot dog stand
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And a chariot that stood
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Parked across from a building
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Advertising brotherhood
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I ran right through the front door
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Like a hobo sailor does
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But it was just a funeral parlor
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And the man asked me who I was
[Verse 8]
D#
I repeated that my friends
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Were all in jail, with a sigh
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He gave me his card
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He said, “Call me if they die”
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I shook his hand and said goodbye
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Ran out to the street
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When a bowling ball came down the road
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And knocked me off my feet
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F pay phone was ringing
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It just about blew my mind
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When I picked it up and said hello
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This foot came through the line
[Verse 9]
D#
Well, by this time I was fed up
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At tryin’ to make a stab
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At bringin’ back any help
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For my friends and Captain Arab
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I decided to flip a coin
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Like either heads or tails
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Would let me know if I should go
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Back to ship or back to jail
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So I hocked my sailor suit
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And I got a coin to flip
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It came up tails, it rhymed with sails
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So I made it back to the ship
[Verse 10]
D#
Well, I got back and took
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The parkin’ ticket off the mast
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I was ripping it to shreds
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When this coastguard boat went past
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They asked me my name
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And I said, “Captain Kidd”
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They believed me but
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They wanted to know
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What exactly that I did
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I said for the Pope of Eruke I was employed
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They let me go right away
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They were very paranoid
[Interlude]
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(harmonica)
[Verse 11]
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Well, the last I heard of Arab
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He was stuck on a whale
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That was married to the deputy
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Sheriff of the jail
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But the funniest thing was
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When I was leavin’ the bay
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I saw three ships a-sailin’
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They were all heading my way
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I asked the captain what his name was
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And how come he didn’t drive a truck
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He said his name was Columbus
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I just said, “Good luck”
[Outro]
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(harmonica, repeat and fade)